It’s good to be back in the flow of PhDing after my period of low output. The introduction for my first chapter is started so I am finally on the road. Met with The Professor on Friday and we are back where we should be. He is happy, and I am once again doing excellent work. All results were ready for his perusal and he had a quick look at what I had done so far on the introduction to my latent class analysis chapter. I think I will always seek approval from those that I feel are teachers to me.
It does slightly horrify me when I notice the ease with which I talk about the many types of abuses and traumas that happen in the lives of children. This is why I do research, and specifically quantitative as opposed to qualitative research. It is absolutely horrifying and to spend my days listening to the stories behind the research or examining them in depth, would, I think, eat me from the inside out. This way, I get to try and do my bit to help but also can retain my own sanity. My gift, I believe is in seeing the patterns, in examining and exploring what they mean, in helping to advance research of understanding, which in turn can advance ways to help. Recovery. It is always about recovery for me. Mine and other peoples. Recovery from whatever has caused the pain. Ways of working through the pain and releasing it and stepping into the shoes of the people we were meant to be. We are all in this together.
My work in training and facilitation allows me to feel I am also providing practical help. I can put my money where my mouth is. I can do it in a way which means I can do this, but also stay well myself. Balance. It is all about balance.
The Professor consistently reminds me to keep my writing academic. There is no soul in academic writing. There is a lot of heart in it however for me. My soul can be found in the conversations I have with The Man. With my children. With my friends. In my blog. In my life.